


Error 404: Common Sense Not Found

by Ladytalon



Category: Watch Dogs (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Disabled Character, Crimes & Criminals, Developing Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, First Time, Flirting, Gratuitous Quinkie’s mention, Hand Jobs, Humor, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Oral Sex, Self Confidence Issues, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:20:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26167783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladytalon/pseuds/Ladytalon
Summary: It’s a bad idea...but he’s going to do it anyway. Comes afterThe Fix Is In.
Relationships: Damien Brenks/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 1





	Error 404: Common Sense Not Found

There’s no fool like an old fool.

He’s had some bad ideas in his time, few of which he’d admit publicly, but this is shaping up to be the worst one yet. This is right up there with playing chicken with a steamroller or doxxing every member of the Chicago South Club, and he knows it. Damien has no business being anywhere near her…he shouldn’t even _want_ to be, but here he is.

“Damien,” Michelle says in surprise as she notices him lurking in the shadows like a serial killer. She slips her keys back into her pocket and starts to walk towards him, so he meets her halfway. “Did I know you were coming?”

“I don’t have your number.”

The tired look in her eyes gives way to amusement as she laughs up at him. “Liar,” she says, reaching out to place one of her hands on his chest. “You’re not stalking me, are you?”

“I’m doing it very slowly,” he promises.

Jordi Chin’s beautiful cousin laughs again and leans closer, not looking down at the brace on his leg. “I’ll be sure to keep one step ahead of you. Um. I’m not really feeling up to climbing any more fences – I’ve had a _really_ long day.”

“You’re in luck because I brought you dinner, instead,” Damien says, lifting up the bag he’d brought with him.

“Is that really what’s inside?” Michelle asks, reaching for it. He hands over the bag and she grins as she opens it, peeking inside. “It is!”

She passes it back and digs for her keys; after unlocking the door, she turns towards him and Damien offers the bag again. “Have a good night.”

Michelle stares at the grease-stained paper bag for a moment, then looks at him. “I can’t eat that by myself.”

“I’ve heard that Quinkie’s leftovers cause hallucinations – cheaper than LSD, too. You could get a bargain head trip out of it if you heat up the second half for lunch tomorrow.” Damien wrenches his gaze away from her mouth. Michelle has been holding up her end of their bargain and helping him with ‘field work’ that’s been paying off his health care debts, as well as the occasional child support payment…but they’ve also been spending more and more time making out in the car after the jobs are finished.

This really is the worst idea he’s ever had.

She sways closer and gives the front of his coat a gentle tug. “Come up with me, Geek Squad.”

“Smooth talk from a used car salesman; what a surprise,” Damian says, then frowns. “Saleswoman. Sales…person?”

Michelle laughs again and tows him inside the building. It’s new enough to not have any graffiti on the stairwells yet, and she follows his gaze. “Someone pissed on the second landing, so you’d better believe we’re taking the elevator.” Okay, so it’s not _that_ new. They step into the elevator and she hits the button for the fifth floor. “Speaking of belief…I can’t believe you actually brought me Quinkie’s.”

He’s forced to confess that he doesn’t have any candles on him. “I was planning on just tossing the bag at you and taking off,” Damien tells her, miming a football throw.

“Romance just oozes from your pores,” she teases.

“So does charm; don’t forget the charm.”

“Don’t worry – I won’t forget,” Michelle says, surprising him by reaching up and stroking her finger over his goatee. Then she lifts up on her toes for a kiss, and he’s not about to refuse her. Damien reaches for her and the Quinkie’s bag falls forgotten on the floor as he covers her mouth with his. Michelle’s arms twine around his neck and she presses against him, returning his kiss with an urgency that takes his breath away. Everything about her seems too good to be true.

He cups the back of her head, stroking the side of her neck with his thumbs, and he could swear that the caress makes her purr like a cat. Damien wouldn’t mind making her yowl like one, too… and the thought of sex has the same jarring effect as being doused in ice water. He can picture her expression as she sees the end result of the beating he’d endured last year – someone like her won’t want a cripple when it really comes down to it, and he refuses to be anyone’s pity fuck.

“Is something wrong?” she asks when he disengages from her.

“Everything’s fine,” Damien lies. He’d _known_ this was a bad idea – who had he thought he was fooling?

“It’s fine enough to make your hard-on go extinct,” Michelle says, stepping back and straightening her clothing. The elevator doors slide open and she leads the way down the hall to her apartment. “It’d better not be something stupid like being worried about your leg.” He’s startled enough not to have a quick comeback ready, which clues her in to the fact that she’s just landed a hit. “Wow, for real?”

“Um...”

Michelle unlocks her door and makes a shooing gesture to get him inside. As soon as he walks in, however, she closes the door behind him and tosses the Quinkie’s bag across the room before reaching up to pull his head down to hers. She kisses him again, and it’s passionate enough to make him forget what his own name is. “I don’t give a damn about your leg, Damien,” Michelle murmurs when they come up for air. “The only thing keeping me from fucking you right now is my mismatched lingerie set. It’s so ugly you wouldn’t even believe it.” 

“You’re unlike any woman I’ve ever met,” he laughs, shaking his head.

She pats at his cheeks, looking at him with an expression of pity on her face. “Do you want to know a secret about women, Damien? We’re all completely different people - _none_ of us are exactly alike.”

“Point taken,” Damien says wryly. “So…why me? You could have anyone.”

Michelle grins and gives him another quick kiss on the lips to defuse the tension between them. “I guess I _could_ , but I wanted someone who would fix my computer and couldn’t run away afterwards. Captive tech support. Besides…I like your goatee.”

She retrieves the bag and gives him a push in the direction of her living room after turning on the lights – the whole place is so small, Damien has to wonder if she’s subletting someone’s walk-in closet. There’s only one chair and he settles on the arm of it awkwardly, unwilling to take up any more space than strictly necessary, but Michelle comes back with the donut sandwich cut in half on two paper plates and a scowl on her face. “This apartment is…cozy,” he ventures.

“It’s a fucking sardine can, don’t lie – sit down in the chair,” Michelle orders, and slides onto his lap as soon as he obeys. “See? Plenty of room.”

“I see that,” Damien says, wondering how the hell he’s going to keep from getting an erection. “It’s an illegal sublet, isn’t it.”

She shrugs, passing him one of the plates. “Probably; I’m looking for a place near Parker Square. Know any listings you could work your magic on? You know, bring the price down for me?”

“That’s a new one; I’ve never tried it before, but I guess it could work,” Damien says, his eyes straying from her face over to the mattress he can see on the floor. He’d never be able to get up from there, but it would absolutely be worth it. 

The burger’s stone cold by now, and it’s squished from all the manhandling the bag has undergone. Michelle bites into it and chews with a thoughtful expression on her face. The glaze from the donut ‘bread’ has flaked off onto her lips and every last drop of blood in Damien’s body rushes straight to his dick when her tongue flicks out to clean off the glaze. She pauses slightly to look at him and he’s left trying to pretend that she’s not feeling what she’s _definitely_ feeling. “You’re right,” Michelle finally says. “It wouldn’t be bad as leftovers.”

Whatever he thought she’d do next is thrown out the window as she switches the sandwich to her left hand and reaches down to palm his crotch with her right, squeezing with firm pressure that makes his cock twitch and every single hormone in his body cheer like he’s just scored a touchdown. “Unzip,” she tells him, taking another bite.

Damien stares up at her, desperately trying to make his mind start working again, and all he can do is set his own untouched half of the sandwich aside before reaching for his zipper as requested. It feels like his entire body is on fire, and he shudders as she pushes up the hem of his shirt and drags her nails across his stomach lightly. He folds his pants open, wondering if this is what an out of body experience really feels like because Michelle is perched on his thighs still eating her burger while he gets his dick out for her. 

This is really happening – and it’s happening to _him_.

She stares into his eyes and slowly wraps her fingers around his shaft, sliding her hand up and down to gauge his length. Her thumb gently rubs at the sensitive spot just beneath the head and he can’t stop a groan from forcing itself out from behind tightly clenched teeth. Michelle takes another bite and continues to stroke his cock, watching his face carefully as she pleasures him.

Damien shakes off the shock that’s keeping him frozen in place, and slowly slides his hands up beneath her shirt. She smiles at his hesitance and tightens her grip when his fingers rub the hard points of her nipples pushing at the thin fabric of her bra. 

It’s been years since he’s been in a situation like this, not counting the time six months ago when he’d gone to Brandon Docks and paid a hooker to jerk him off – she’d gone through the motions automatically, bored to death and staring off into space then holding her other hand out for money expectantly when he’d finally been able to climax. This time the woman he’s with is definitely not staring at anything but him, and she’s definitely into it. Michelle finishes her food, licking the sugar and grease from her fingertips before finally looking down at what she’s doing. 

“Let go of me for a second,” she tells him, and Damien reluctantly pulls his hands away from her chest as she stands up. His sudden fear that she’d kick him out proves unfounded as she pulls her shirt off, then the bra that supposedly doesn’t match her panties, leaving him to stare at her bare breasts. 

They’re perfect, he thinks feverishly. “Wow.”

Michelle laughs at him and starts gathering her hair back into a ponytail. “I _knew_ I liked you.” Wait – she’s putting her _hair_ back. That means… “It’s your lucky day, Brenks,” she says, dropping to her knees between his thighs and leaning forward.

His eyes nearly roll back in his head at the first touch of her tongue. “Ohhh, fuck.”

Her lips wrap around his cock and she begins to suck him hungrily, moaning when he grabs the back of her head and cries out. _God_ , it feels good. Damien slumps against the back of the chair, lost in the pleasure she’s giving him. Michelle curls one hand around the bottom of his shaft and slides the other up his stomach, then down to massage his balls. She pulls up off his dick, using her tongue to swipe at the string of saliva still connecting them. “Next job, I’m definitely sucking you off in the car,” Michelle says breathlessly, tonguing the tip of him. “You taste… _so_ fucking good.” She takes him back in her mouth, rolling her eyes up to watch him.

Damien wonders exactly when he gave her so much power over him, because she’s got it and he’s surprised to find that he doesn’t mind at all. “I’ll bring you dinner whenever you want,” he promises. So what if he doesn’t have time for this? He’ll make time.

Michelle places sucking kisses along his shaft. “Yeah?”

“Yeah…god _damn_ , that’s good.” She flutters her eyelashes demurely at the praise, which makes him laugh. “Did you change your mind about not wanting me to see your underwear?”

“Why? Don’t tell me you want to return the favor,” Michelle says, suddenly looking unimpressed with what she thinks his answer is going to be.

Damien wonders exactly what kind of losers she’s been dating lately. “Are you fucking kidding me? Of course I do.”

She kisses the tip of his cock and wraps her fingers around its base. “I take back what I said about you not being romantic. Something tells me you’ll concentrate better if I let you come down my throat first, so let’s do that.” Michelle works her fist over him and ducks down to nuzzle at his balls, drawing one into her mouth to suck on while he sinks his fingers in her hair. She drives him mad while his scrotum is drawn up high and tight against his body, then sucks Damien’s cock until he comes in strong pulses that fill the snug warmth of her mouth. 

He falls back, heart hammering wildly beneath his rib cage. “Jesus fucking _Christ_ , that was…amazing. You’re fucking amazing,” Damien rasps. 

Michelle swirls her tongue around him one last time and sits back on her heels, shaking her hair back from her face. “I’ve wanted to do that to you for weeks now,” she says, standing up and pushing her skirt down off her hips so that she’s left in a simple scrap of lace that makes Damien’s mouth water. _This_ is what she was so worried about? She’s gorgeous, and he can’t wait to get his hands on her. “Is the rest of you as nice as your dick?”

“I doubt it,” he says, tucking himself back into his pants before standing up carefully. He’s not looking forward to removing the leg brace while she watches him.

She figures it out, though. “I guess you know where the bed is. I need to wash up really quickly, so…meet you there?”

Damien sighs, thankful for the reprieve…and her kindness, which he deserves exactly none of. He doesn’t deserve _her_. “Yeah. Sounds good.” She walks out to the other room, turning off most of the lights except for a few in the kitchen.

Once he takes the brace off he won’t be able to keep himself upright and properly balanced, so Damien strips his top layers off before removing his boots and unbuckling the leg brace. Michelle’s still hanging out in the bathroom to give him plenty of time to get ready for her, and he feels nervous despite the fact that she’d just sucked him off; what if she decides that he’s not what she wants, after all? “Jesus,” he mutters, rubbing his hands over his face. He can do this. He might not have done this in a while, but he still remembers how and he’ll be damned if he lets her down.

He’s lowered himself down to the mattress and is dragging his jeans down his legs when Michelle comes back out, still wearing nothing but the tiniest pair of lace panties he’s ever seen. “Hi,” she says, looking him over. “I had a feeling you were hiding something good under those clothes, Geek Squad.”

She’s lying through her teeth; all that he’s got to offer is slightly better than average upper body strength thanks to all his PT sessions, and a decent sized dick. The flattery is nice, though. “Uh huh.”

“Some people can get lazy,” she tells him, dropping to her knees to straddle his thighs. “I like a man who takes care of himself.”

Damien has to laugh; this is one of the most bizarre conversations he’s ever had. “Yeah, okay.” He slides his hands up her waist, fingertips grazing the sides of her breasts. “You, on the other hand…are pretty damned perfect. Come here.”

Michelle settles her hands on his shoulders and he pushes his fingers into the silken black weight of her hair, urging her down for a kiss. They shift position onto the bed, still kissing each other until she’s spread out beneath him and squirming just how he’d wanted her. Damien strokes her body, loving how she arches up into his touch like she just can’t get enough of it. Michelle makes soft, sweet little noises as he bites at her neck and moves down to lavish attention on her breasts.

“Harder,” she whispers and Damien draws her left nipple back into his mouth, sucking with increased pressure until her fingers tighten in his hair. “ _Yes_ , like that.” His usual recovery time of an hour shortens to about ten minutes thanks to the breathy moans filling his ears, and he strokes the crotch panel of those tiny little panties as he starts to get hard again. “ _Oooh_ …”

You’ve got to love a woman who knows what she likes, Damien thinks as he moves his mouth down her sternum. He presses a kiss into the soft curve of her belly, and another directly between her legs before licking her through the fabric so that it molds against her. Michelle’s gasps just keep getting louder. “Were these expensive?” he asks, looking up.

“Whu…what?”

“These,” Damien says, hooking a finger under the thin lace of the waistband before repeating himself. “Were they expensive?”

Michelle pushes her hair out of her face, looking confused. “No, why?”

“Good.” He gives a sharp tug to break it and lowers his head to inhale the musky scent of her pussy. This is one meal he’s going to take his time with. Damien spreads her wide and covers her with his hand, rubbing the slick, sensitive flesh while he kisses along the inside of her thighs. “God, you make me crazy.”

She moans his name as he gently pinches her labia shut, massaging the swollen lips. “ _Damien_.” His fingers come away slick.

He leans in to swipe his tongue from her taint up to her clit in a long, slow lick. “Mmm.” Damien brings both hands up to cup her ass, lifting her to his mouth. Michelle alternates between pulling at his hair and covering her own mouth to muffle her cries; he plans on making her feel so good that she doesn’t give a damn how loud she gets. Her hands slowly slide off of the back of his head to grip the sheets, arching up as he continues licking her with broad strokes of his tongue.

When she’s humping up against his mouth, Damien slides two fingers inside her and fucks her with them as he suckles at her clitoris. Michelle’s thighs clamp down on his head and her whole body shakes as she comes with a shriek that can probably be heard three floors in either direction – mission accomplished.

Damien eases up on her when she slumps back against the pillows, gasping for air. “Where’d you learn to _do_ that? _God_.”

“I read about it on the internet,” he tells her, placing a final kiss on her stomach before hauling himself up over her when Michelle reaches out for him.

“Nice research skills.” She purses her lips in an unsubtle demand for a kiss and he obliges her, drawing back only when she pushes on his shoulders lightly. “So…is this for me?” Michelle asks, shifting to press up against his erection.

“Mm- _hm_.”

He’d worried that he wouldn’t be able to please her without full mobility of his limbs, or that she might just be humoring him…but it’s clear that Michelle isn’t faking anything to bolster his ego. The last vestige of self-consciousness lifts from him, and Damien is able to fully enjoy himself - _and_ her. 

It feels good to be wanted, he thinks when he finally disengages from her. Michelle rubs her hands over his back as he rolls away to discard the condom they’d used, and she moves into Damien’s arms when he turns back over to face her. “That was nice,” he sighs, running his fingers through her hair.

She cuddles against him with a sigh of her own. “Thanks for dinner,” she says, making him smile.

“Like I said before; anytime.”

Michelle trails her fingertips over his stomach while he strokes the smooth skin of her hip, then she shifts to lay over his chest and look down at him. “Damien…?”

“Yeah?”

“What happened to you last year?” 

He’d known the question was coming ever since he swiped his Ventra card to let her through the turnstile, but Damien wishes she’d waited for any other time to ask. “I got too close to something I wasn’t supposed to see.”

“Is that what happened to your leg?” Michelle asks softly.

“Hard to believe that I didn’t always have to wear that fucking brace, isn’t it?”

She leans forward to kiss him, her sweetness keeping the bitter memories at bay. “Of course not. I guess I just wanted to let you know that I don’t care about the brace…I care about _you_.” Michelle grins suddenly. “If you want me to be even more specific, what I _really_ care about is your big dick.”

Damien is startled into laughter, which is what she’d obviously been going for. “You’re insane.”

“-ly talented and beautiful? Yes, I am.”

“That, too,” he agrees. “Listen. If you really want to hear about what happened, I’ll tell you some other time.”

She tilts her head thoughtfully. “But not now.”

“Not now.” 

“Okay.” 

Michelle kisses him again before tucking her head beneath his chin, settling against him with a sigh and drawing patterns on his chest with her fingertips while he strokes her hair. He falls asleep with Michelle in his arms, waking briefly when she gets up for work. She tells him to go back to sleep and that she’s got an early meeting – then she kisses him, slaps his ass, and disappears.

The next time Damien wakes up, it’s mid-morning. He sits up slowly, rubbing a hand over his face and looking around because it’s the first time in more than a year that he’s slept in someone else’s bed….or had a decent night’s sleep. 

Moving off onto the floor so that he can tug the blankets straight, Damien uses one of her two kitchen chairs to lever himself upright and limps to the bathroom for a shower. It’s ridiculously small, just like the rest of her place, and he wonders yet again how much she’s being charged for rent; a bathroom on a fucking _airplane_ is bigger than what she has.

He’s getting dressed and fitting the brace back on when he decides to stop minding his own business; he’s never been any good at that, anyway. Damien starts snooping through the unsecured connections first – there’s a councilman exchanging explicit text messages with his mistress, and someone else is doing some insider trading – before targeting the systems that have a greater degree of encryption. It’s nothing too juicy, just some weird porn and internet piracy, but he finds some cloud data that looks promising. Following that to its home server, Damien opens the folder and discovers that someone’s been keeping a close eye on Michelle. Not only her, but it looks like there’s information on every woman here…if it’s limited to just this building. He’s only interested in Michelle, though – the rest are on their own.

There are dozens of still images of her eating, sleeping, changing her clothes, and showering. His mouth hardens as he scrolls through the folders and finds videos…the most recent one has last night’s date on it. “Gotta be her fucking landlord,” Damien murmurs, taking a few screenshots of the evidence before reaching for Michelle’s laptop that she left on the table. It only takes a few minutes to wipe the server and run a trace on where the information is being sent from; a first-floor apartment that’s listed as being occupied by the apartment manager. “There you are...”

Damien stands up to stretch, turning in a slow circle while he identifies the locations of the hidden cameras, then reaches for his phone. “ _Hey, sleepyhead,_ ” Michelle says with a smile in her voice. “ _Missing me already?”_

“I’m actually in the process of stealing everything from your apartment; this was a butt dial,” Damien tells her. “Listen…about that place in Parker Square – how about we get you moved into a hotel room until you find the one you want?”

“ _I’m not going to move into a hotel, Brenks, I already have an apartment. I’m sorry about the bed situation, but-_ ”

“I can see three different hidden cameras from where I’m standing right now,” he says, and she gets quiet fast. “I borrowed your computer and traced the feed to your landlord’s place – turns out he had a front row seat to last night’s fun. I’m not an exhibitionist, Zhaou.”

Michelle finally finds her voice. “ _Was it just last night, or…?”_

“Looks like he’s been watching you ever since you moved in. I got rid of the digital evidence, but I’m not sure if there’s any physical copies - breaking and entering really isn’t in my wheelhouse.”

“ _I’ll take care of it,”_ she tells him. “ _Thanks for letting me know. Jesus.”_

“You gonna be okay?”

“ _I’m not happy, that’s for fucking sure…but I’ll be fine._ ” Michelle laughs. “ _Here I was hoping you were calling because you’d had a good time last night, and you wanted to do it again. Pathetic, huh?”_

Damien looks directly into the lens of the closest hidden camera, and smiles. “I _did_ have a good time, and I _would_ like to do it again.” He’d like to do it somewhere more private, though. “Before I leave, I’ll give your Peeping Tom a virus to remember you by.” There’s also the question of how he’s supposed to lock up without a key; it could be part of a devious plan to keep him trapped there for convenient sex, which doesn’t sound bad at all, but Nicole Pierce isn’t going to kidnap herself.

Apparently her door doesn’t require a key to lock it, which has resulted in Michelle accidentally locking herself out multiple times before she’d gotten the hang of it. It had probably also given her landlord plenty of opportunities to interact with her, Damien thinks. “ _So…this is awkward,”_ Michelle tells him. “ _Would you have called if this hadn’t happened?_ ”

“I like games as much as the next person but I can’t move fast enough to play hard to get, if that’s what you mean.” 

“ _Okay, sure,”_ she says, sounding more like herself now that the craziness has more or less been dealt with. Something tells him that Jordi will be the last person that their voyeur ever sees. “ _Sorry my landlord is such a goddamned creep.”_

“No worries; that angle made my ass look amazing,” Damien assures her, and Michelle laughs. “I’ll see you later.”

“ _Sounds good. Don’t actually steal anything from my place.”_

Damien uses his shoulder to hold the phone to his ear as he sits back down in front of her computer to select the perfect virus. Maybe he’ll pick out several – the more, the merrier. “Speaking of games…I’m taking at least three things with me and if you can guess what they are, I’ll give them back.”

“ _What? You’d better be joking, Geek Squad.”_

“Now it’s four things. Keep talking if you want to make it five,” he tells her. 

“ _You’re hilarious. I don’t know what time I’ll get off tonight, but I’ll let you know what happens to him.”_

“Make sure it happens in his apartment and I’ll record it for you,” Damien promises. “I looped some footage of when you were out hard at work committing grand theft auto, so you don’t need to worry about being watched.”

He hangs up and waits for all three viruses to finish uploading, then moves towards the door. He’d slept better than he has in months and the constant full body ache has subsided into something that’s actually bearable. He doesn’t have time for this…but maybe he can make the time. Damien wonders how soon he should bring Michelle dinner again and is struck by a sudden, absurd thought: If last night was the result of fast food, he has to ask himself what might happen if he brings her a salad.


End file.
